Friday, September 30, 2016

What to Do When You're Just Not Feeling It

If we're honest, we can admit we've been here a time or two (or, more) in our lives. What we used to love and enjoy just isn't fulfilling to us anymore. Things we used to do, we don't even desire anymore. We just feel... blah.

Can I be real with you?
This was me a month or so ago. And I had been feeling that way off and on for months prior. I knew something needed to change in my life. I just wasn't sure what. It's so funny - there have been quite a few times in my short lifetime where I thought I had it all figured out. I was GOOD. I was in a great space. And each time, after some time had passed, life would happen. That's just how it is - we have ups, we have downs. EVERYONE does, whether they care to admit or not. I noticed that I no longer felt inspired by anything. And I felt so many people were trying to force ideas or lifestyles onto me (they meant well), and I wasn't even doing the things that made me happy anymore. I kind of lost sight of what *I* wanted, of *my* dreams and goals. So, I took a step back. A BIG ONE. Here are some things I've learned, and realized...

1. When you're not feeling it, don't force it. It will just add to your frustration. I had a few very close friends and family that I confided in, and that was it. I didn't post about it online. Actually, until yesterday, morning I hadn't posted in over a month about ANYTHING on Facebook, and I still haven't on Instagram. I didn't try to "figure out" how to get motivated again. I just let myself BE for as long as I felt I needed.
1b. Regarding Social Media - I am hardly on anymore. I don't scroll, even if I do decide to make a post. And both mentally and spiritually, it has helped me tremendously. Being exposed to everyone's opinions (good and bad), the horrible news being shared every 3 minutes (and I'm not saying turn a blind eye, but reading or seeing about a horrible death as soon as you wake up at 6am doesn't make for a happy day - not for me)... so many things! It became too much. I was overwhelmed, and I wasn't even able to use it for the reason I needed it for (to network, share my business/happy life moments). Eliminating that negativity/controlling what I saw on a daily basis, helped me to focus on what really matters: my family, my friends, my wellness.
2. I didn't explain myself. Two reasons why: I don't have to (and neither do you), and I couldn't even if I tried. Because I really didn't even know what the heck was going on - I only knew how I felt. And let me tell you - feelings LIE.

3. Which brings me to my next lesson - which should be #1 but I'm listing them as I remember going through them during the time... I wasn't spending as much time with God. A few years ago, I would read my Bible, pray, have my personal God-time DAILY: in the morning when I'd wake up, and before bed. Every. Single. Day. And I felt the best I had in a long time. But, like many people, I got lazy and thought, "Hey, I'm good. I can skip a day..." which then led to a few days at a time. And it showed - I didn't even think the same. Spending time with God is KEY.

4. I stopped talking to/spending time with some people until I could sort through some things. It wasn't to be mean at all. I really just needed to talk to people who I believed were 100% in my corner - people who I knew supported me. I'm blessed to have people like that in my life.

5. I started writing down my goals again. What did I want to accomplish in the next 3 months? 6 months? The next year? And then I started breaking them down into smaller goals I could work on daily. It felt good to get it out on paper and to focus on my own life again.

6. I listened to and read and watched positive things!! If you don't have Joyce Meyer's book "Battlefield of the Mind" and "Mind Connection", I strongly suggest them. They have helped me so much. I also started to minimize the types of shows I watch and the music I listen to (again). Think those things don't matter? Trust me, they do. Seeds are planted and they take root. Pay attention. (I will leave it at that for now)

7. I stopped focusing on the things that were wrong and focused on all that was right in my life! God has blessed me so much and honestly, even when life throws its little curve balls, I have no REAL reason to complain. And when I do get caught up in trivial things, I thank God that I have people in my life who love me enough to tell me about myself - QUICK. Lol!! Get me right, honey! I receive :)

8. I journaled more often, almost daily. It's therapeutic for me. I get to write about my experiences, feelings, revelations, ideas... all without interruption or judgement.

These are just some of the things I've been doing the last few months - all while working on new goals. So, I'm really just sharing some of my story to encourage you. It's ok to feel "meh" sometimes, just don't stay there. Self-care is so important. Mental health is SO important. Be honest with the people you trust the most so they can hold you accountable. Live your life for YOU, and trust God with every part of it. We are ALL still works in progress, on our own separate journeys, doing the best we can while we learn along the way. Remember this: God has your back, and you will be just fine. <3


xo
KeetaRay

12 comments:

  1. This is a great post. I appreciate all that you shared. Definitely can use these helpful hints. I'm spending less time on my TL and instead I just post and get off. There is a lot of shocking and upsetting news and I cannot control when it pops up in my feed. I also sometimes delete apps. I did that with instagram recently.

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    1. Deleting apps helps so much. Sometimes seeing the notifications alone can make us want to log back in. I'm so glad you found this helpful and thank you so much for reading my post! I appreciate you <3

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  2. Awesome post! The social media piece is how I've been feeling of late. And with that, you came to mind as I see you on the youversion bible app and noticed that I haven't seen you on social media. And that was an encouragement for me that one day soon I will also fall back from it as well. Distractions and having to "know of everything" going on can sometimes be a seed that leads to the weight that easily entangle me/us. Thanks for sharing.
    Sebron.

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    1. Exactly, Sebron! You got it. Thanks so much for reading.

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  3. Thank you for sharing this post. I can completely understand how you were feeling. I'm still working on feeling like myself again but feel I know what I need to do. I just need to be consistent.

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    1. Yes, you are so welcome, Meish. And you know I'm here for you if you need me. xo

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  4. Absolutely love this...I appreciate your transparency. Awesome and continue to stay on that positive path! A. Bowens

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  5. This really blessed me. I'm there right now. I've just shut down and stopped talking to almost everyone bc there was no way to describe / explain to them what I was feeling. This whole year has been rubbish and I became numb. Being numb is an actual feeling that I had to admit.

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    1. I'm sorry you've been feeling this way, but very glad this post blessed you. I'll be saying prayers, I know that feeling too well. The good thing is that you recognize it. Trust God to see you through - things will turn around! <3

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